We have to truly be honest with ourselves. Living the single life is not always a choice, but if you are like me, you have graciously accepted the challenge. In today’s society, we are bombarded with images regarding relationships, togetherness, and partnership. It’s as though being single says something about us personally. Like we CAN’T find anyone to be with….. NOT THE CASE…. But, this walk can be extremely lonely and painful. It’s not easy, but it is needed.  Most of the time, we choose to live this single lifestyle because relationships gave us continuous disappointments and let downs. (See previous blog Living Single…Identifying the Why) Although, you may not WANT to stay single, you are. Once you have come to terms on why you are single, you have to accept the role.

Make up your Mind

The worse mind set to have with ANY decision is to not have a definite stance. There is always a reason why God allows things to happen and it always works out for our benefit. (Romans 8:28) With God in control, we know this is best for us, but we may still have doubts we want this life. Someone who does this finds themselves still calling and looking for dates. Or still flirts constantly… Or still gets upset when they see other couples…You say your single, but you still want a relationship in your heart. And your actions show it. You have to accept in your heart where you are. Proverbs 23:7 KJV says “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. That means although you say you’re single, you still want a relationship in your heart, and your behavior reflects that. This will cause unnecessary confusion in your life and it will cause you to be double minded in your single walk. “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8)

Understand you are in a great place, a place of training

Clearly, God is doing a work in you. This is the best position to be in!!! He wants you all to Himself. So give Him you!! Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.  It talks about those that are unmarried caring for the things of the Lord. When you are married, your spouse is your priority, your main focus. So during this period of singleness, cater to God. You have so much time for prayer, worship, your Word, and ministry. You have the potential to have the strongest relationship with your Lord and Savior. Doing everything as “unto the Lord, not unto man” (Ref Colossians 3:23). How can you meet the needs of another individual, if you can’t be faithful to the one who gave His life for you to live!!! That’s saying A LOT, isn’t it!! This is a place of training for you. Learn all you can about yourself, so you can be the best possible person in a relationship. In this place, you can learn total dependence on God, and this will help you from entering into a relationship and allowing a person to be your god or idol. Your anointing will be greater. Your gifts will be greater. When you abide and rest in Christ, nothing goes lacking. Fall in love with Christ and be at peace with Him and Him alone. You may be lonely for natural companionship, but you will NEVER BE ALONE. God can fill any void in our hearts. How do you get close to God through Christ? Simple:

Read His Word (the Bible)

Worship Him

Pray to Him constantly

Praise Him daily

Fast  (deny yourself food and/or other natural pleasures while you focus solely on Him)

Surround yourself with help

Your Help…These are the strong people that will keep you focused and on task. Not the people that will pressure you to step outside of the single cocoon to soon…the people who understand why you don’t want to go out. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to study and read the Word of God…People who aren’t always trying to set you up. People who can be an ear to listen when you’re tired of being single (let’s not fool ourselves, it does happen) but they have enough wisdom to help you stand in it. Have people in your corner that have had to wait on God before. Don’t hang around only single women either. Have some GODLY HAPPILY married people in your circle that can sow into you and give you hope regarding what your striving for….Uhhh…notice, I did say “GODLY HAPPILY married”…(Avoid those people that aren’t doing well in the marriage department and they spend more time trying to get you away from marriage, than they do working on theirs) Proverbs 11:14

Stay Encouraged!

There is peace and purpose in where you are. ACCEPT IT!!If you eventually want a relationship, I believe God has one for you. If your desire is to be married, I believe God will honor that. He did not create us to be alone. He gave Adam a helpmeet because He said it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Ref Gen 2:18). But God does things in order. I have faith that once we accept where we are, and put Him first, He will give us the desires we seek. (Ref Matthew 6:33)




*** Please read the following scriptures and study the Word of God on your own. A relationship with God is a personal one, and when you study the Word for yourself, you will find God opening up your eyes and ears to see and hear revelation like never before. I can only give you my experiences and lessons I have learned. You must seek and know Him for yourself!!!!!!

Scriptures used in this post:

Romans 8:28

Proverbs 23:7

James 8:1

1 Corinthians 7:32-34

Colossians 3:23

Proverbs 11:14

Genesis 2:18

Matthew 6:33

***REMEMBER….If you would like to give your life to Christ for Him to be your personal Lord and Savior, please do not hesitate to do so. Find a spiritual advisor/mentor/Pastor or just a friend that you know has a personal relationship with Christ and have them pray for and with you regarding giving your life to Christ and receiving salvation through Him. If none of those are available to you (you can also contact me via email), you can pray earnestly to God where you are now, with a heart to change your ways and live for Him, and I believe He will hear and receive you as His own!!!(also allow and trust God to lead you to a loving, Bible teaching church, so you can be taught, healed, delivered and properly loved on through your walk



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